29th march 2010

last Sunday(27th march 2011) had shared about my feelings with my leaders.
it last about 30 minutes and after that session, I feel a awful heavy load of misunderstanding and burden lifted. could not believed that it was that fast. just sharing with my leaders could help in lifting up the burden.
However, it also got me thinking more about my life though.. I should draw closer to God. I wanna carry the burden of the church.
I just realized something though.. I have been too loud and been too talkative.... I guess it is time to change soon. starting from tomorrow, I wanna slowly become more quiet and listen more.
I feel hurt but at the same time, it does not burn like the feeling I had before I opened up to my leaders. I wanna be opened like a opened book.
As I live each day, I wish to follow the footsteps of people I can trust. I wanna have a solid thinking.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

26th march 2010

I am on the verge of breaking down and burning out.. why must there be people who always use their ability and suppress other people's talent.... I am now feeling crippled and crushed by people who I once thought were people I could actually trust.. I don't wish to feel this way but I feel burned.. backsliding on my mind... help anyone!! pls!! :'(

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

23rd march 2011 (my goals)

- to have full control over my life and 'me'
- to speak life and be a example to everyone
- to be silent and be more humble
- to listen more and talk less.
- to be a example to all students in my school and people outside school.
- to take full control over my sins

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

23rd march 2011

I just only keep a daily record of my feelings and my daily activities here. :|
I feel so down for no reason.. suddenly all the thoughts of people and their actions reflect to me on something. :(

I can't describe this tightness inside my heart. At 1 point I feel safe but the next I feel so insecure in my life. gotta set my goals here and now. one thing is for sure though, I wanna glorify Him and everything he has done for me.

gonna start first by not talking too much. I have been a loud mouth.. better keep my mouth shut and speak lesser. :)

speak words of life and not death into people.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

22nd march 2011

who are my real friends?? I can't even show my feelings to my leaders in church.. will I backslide??
answer: No! be strong Edwin! you are called for a purpose! don't fall back.
I wanna be in Your presence. :'(
must be positive.. Jesus suffered for my sins. I don't want His suffering to go in vain.. I will live my life to glorify God and everything he has done for me! :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

22nd march 2011

who are my real friends?? I can't even show my feelings to my leaders in church.. will I backslide??
answer: No! be strong Edwin! you are called for a purpose! don't fall back.
I wanna be in Your presence. :'(
must be positive.. Jesus suffered for my sins. I don't want His suffering to go in vain.. I will live my life to glorify God and everything he has done for me! :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

22nd march 2011

who are my real friends?? I can't even show my feelings to my leaders in church.. will I backslide??
answer: No! be strong Edwin! you are called for a purpose! don't fall back.
I wanna be in Your presence. :'(

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

16 march 2011

there is only so much a person can take before the person finally breakdown and crash........
what happen to the love I had with You a year ago?
time to tell my leaders about this... if nothing happen then well.. I will just hang on to Your love till the last spark. :'(

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

15 march 2011

I finally know why.. Abandon what my mind tells me and just follow my heart.. :) thank You! :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

15 march 2011

my heart tells me it's alright... but my mind tells me different... I wanna love You again like the first time I have met You. Your presence was amazing and so unfailing. :)
I love You. I know that there is a season for everything and there is a reason for all thing that is happening right now. :)
I hope I am able to rise up and become a person who loves people like how You have love me even though I am a sinner.
I wanna rise up someday and become s great leader.
with that in mind, time to list out my goals:
- become more loving towards people In all walks of my life. ( starting from my parents)
- Be more humble and listen more that talk.
- Be more obedient towards You.

people say writing down my thoughts help me to stick to it.. (:

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

13 match 2011

I used to cry everyday because I didn't have anyone to love. I felt as though everyone abandoned me.... I couldn't believe it that I made it so far in life. ;) thank You God got everything you have put me through. :) without you I wouldn't know where I will be. thank You for letting me know so many friends who never abandon me despite my weaknesses.
You have shown me life.
You opened my eyes.
so I will give You the highest praise that I could ever offer.
everything in my life is in Your hands. :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

my only working blog(12 march 2011)

it's been awhile since I started with my personal blog.. maybe I should just pour out my entire heart into a blog. :)

I feel so stagnant in my walk with You....


Is this what I really wanted in life?
answer: no. I want to do better in my walk with You.

what are your reasons?
answer: because I felt His everlasting love and I believed in something for the first time.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]