13th October 2011

Blogging with my iPod touch. :) Thank God i still have this. :) my only source of communication and entertainment. Haha.

Went to work yesterday. Night shift drains the life outta me.
Some people asked me why. I could only say that it is out of lack of family allowance but the truth is that I have done it out of family obligation.

As much as I don't want to, I am becoming the next successor of my dad's business. I don't even speak proper Chinese yet he sees potential in me. -_-" I am not even vegetarian.

Anyways, Went to school and reach around 9am.
Only slept for approximately 5h+ I guess.
Feeling totally brain dead. Was expecting to complete all my worksheet but ended up teaching everyone that I only do 1 chemistry and 1 physics worksheet. -_-" 10 more to go. LOL!! :P







My leaders words:

"Edwin, remember the story of King David in the Bible? David had problems in his life yet God told everyone that David is a person after His heart. Remember that you don't have to be straight with Me, just walk with Me"

"Whenever you feel like letting go, remember that I will hold on to you and never forsaken you! Walk with Me! Lift up your problems to Me!!"

9th October 2011

My road to no return
My world has been completely destroyed
A crossroad which bent and lead me into a trap of oblivion.
A oblivion where it will never end, the pain of emptiness...

I used to have (great) dreams and (real) hopes
Where the world didn't mean anything to me
A place where I could call it a sanctuary
I always thought the darkness inside of me could be subdued with the power of Light.

It turns out to be naive thinking.
A failed experiment will always be a failed experiment.
It doesn't change the fact that you are no different from crooks and evil people.

I want to have a hope again.. That feeling where I really started to believe.
Did I make a correct choice or was it just hallucination?

Oh such agony
To explain it would show the incompetence of me.
Why did such a person like me even existed?
It sounds easy to take a different path but it's difficult to leave due to the bridges I have burned...

What did I do wrong to deserve this?

What was I thinking to have hope? Great friends, awesome life, stable family?

I bring dishonor...
If I was dying, I don't deserve anyone to help me...


Well, I find it so hopeless to even blog about my pain and sadness.

being emo.... sad...

8th October 2011

10.05am

So sleepy.. Didn't have enough/too much sleep I guess. Feeling so... Hmm....

Finally graduation ceremony is over! I have technically graduated from Tanglin secondary. :)

After that went to give out cards to all my friends to wish them best of luck. Have been praying for them! God is a good God. :')

Strangely after that, I managed to find Ader and we talked about life. Wrote something personal from my heart. :)

I am so gonna miss the school and everyone who made me smile. Real friends in life who I can count on and depend.

Maybe I will finish this blog again after I come home from church.
:) signing off! :D