15th August 2011

Service last Saturday with Pastor Sy Rogers is impacting and powerful.. I can't believe that I learn so much just by listening to him preach.

Oh well, Let's not get too spiritual talking about church.. I wanna share something that is really burning me right now. I hope I don't get too emo or sad again...

Well, 1 of the reason why I am feeling so sad now is not because I lost my friends in school, but because of the fact I had to face bullies in schools. It's quite ironic huh? I am so big sized and strong yet to be bullied by people.. Haha.. Ironic it is.. Well, I would want to write out their names here but not gonna spell it out. Just their initials.

(TBC and GYT)


(TBC)
I had enough of them trying to bully me... I don't like it when he try to punch me and be a total jerk to me for no apparent reason....
Always inflicting wounds on me ( both physical and emotional) just because I care... What's wrong with being a top student?

I can still remember national day which is recently. I am just trying to have fun only and I didn't notice that I was blocking your way. Instead of saying excuse me like you would to other people, you land a blow on my back which was still injured and ask me to "F**** off!"

When you actually did that, I was smiling but deep within my heart, I was getting ready to fight back. I clench my fist so tightly and charged up my strength waiting for a striking range.. I waited for the correct timing trying to hit your vital points but strangely, I couldn't perform it...
I let lose my fist knowing that I shouldn't do it...
I know that I won't let my other self take over me... I just felt that I shouldn't do it.. I know that I shouldn't blame you for treating me like this..

(GYT)

I don't have any idea how I offended you, I am just talking to people when all of a sudden you just ask me to "shut the F**** up" foe no reason. I am sharing my life with someone and all you say is that...

I also noticed a long time ago that you had been avoiding me.

Look here, I sincerely apologize if there is any problems with me. I know I am not perfect but I don't think I need such a treatment..


I know that I am arrogant but I am trying to change.. How long do you have to do this to me?
I don't know what to do know... Who can I really approach? I don't really know.. Sad. :(

Am I really that hated by people this much? am I really that obnoxious?