This ain't what I wanted in life... This ain't what I expected... Death of a dream?? I hope so... Not in the mood to even blog about it...
Haiz...
Can't cry but can't smile..
My greatest needs are family and Friends support... I don't even have that.. How pathetic...
Getting very emotional... Maybe I should just blog about it and forget about talking...
Been so hurt... Let's just rewind those few moments where I have..
Ever since the break up of LL and RS, things didn't went well in my life... The fact that RS doesn't trust me and the fact that he made a complete change for the worse...
In my mind, I was told not to get myself into trouble... But in my heart, it told me to give compassion and help... Why did I do it??? I have no idea...
Ever since then... I broke off with that clique of peeps. ( Well, just RS and not the rest)
I tried to pull other friends from their side over but I failed... :(
My family at home would always quarrel and argue... I would always make mistakes in pastoral work and I would always end up with nothing while my friends would just rise up...
Hanging out with Christian friend like LZ didn't help much... Why would anyone laugh at pain and sadness?? Why would you call yourself a Christian???
Persecution are so painful especially if it comes from your very own brother and family... How much more do you want from me???
I tried to wake up early to study hard.. I know I am running out of time now... I hate myself... Help pls... I wanna just let someone know my pain.. I burned myself this time...
Can anyone understand my pain??? Only God does but who else???
My life is so perfect... Still.... I wanna give my best..
I am feeling crushed.... I don't dare to share my pain to my leaders for fear of being discipled by them and remove from pastoral altogether....
I wanna commit myself to church....
They once told me this...
Emotions are just hormones and information that are fired into the brain when the body reacts to circumstances around himself both physically and mentally. It is possible if given the correct condition, the mind can cease to ignore emotion.. By then, a strong logical with high IQ and EQ would conquer anything and anyone..
One of the most effective catalyst would be solitude living condition.
Well, it used to be true for me but as time went by... I can't stop ignoring my emotions... My emotions are hindering my judgement...
I cannot cry infront of anyone... Not ever...
I wish I have someone remembering me when I die....
Haiz...
Can't cry but can't smile..
My greatest needs are family and Friends support... I don't even have that.. How pathetic...
Getting very emotional... Maybe I should just blog about it and forget about talking...
Been so hurt... Let's just rewind those few moments where I have..
Ever since the break up of LL and RS, things didn't went well in my life... The fact that RS doesn't trust me and the fact that he made a complete change for the worse...
In my mind, I was told not to get myself into trouble... But in my heart, it told me to give compassion and help... Why did I do it??? I have no idea...
Ever since then... I broke off with that clique of peeps. ( Well, just RS and not the rest)
I tried to pull other friends from their side over but I failed... :(
My family at home would always quarrel and argue... I would always make mistakes in pastoral work and I would always end up with nothing while my friends would just rise up...
Hanging out with Christian friend like LZ didn't help much... Why would anyone laugh at pain and sadness?? Why would you call yourself a Christian???
Persecution are so painful especially if it comes from your very own brother and family... How much more do you want from me???
I tried to wake up early to study hard.. I know I am running out of time now... I hate myself... Help pls... I wanna just let someone know my pain.. I burned myself this time...
Can anyone understand my pain??? Only God does but who else???
My life is so perfect... Still.... I wanna give my best..
I am feeling crushed.... I don't dare to share my pain to my leaders for fear of being discipled by them and remove from pastoral altogether....
I wanna commit myself to church....
They once told me this...
Emotions are just hormones and information that are fired into the brain when the body reacts to circumstances around himself both physically and mentally. It is possible if given the correct condition, the mind can cease to ignore emotion.. By then, a strong logical with high IQ and EQ would conquer anything and anyone..
One of the most effective catalyst would be solitude living condition.
Well, it used to be true for me but as time went by... I can't stop ignoring my emotions... My emotions are hindering my judgement...
I cannot cry infront of anyone... Not ever...
I wish I have someone remembering me when I die....
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