2nd May 2011

I have a really strong feeling that I need to tell my leaders about this blog rather than keeping it to myself. I trust him more than I trust myself. :P LOL! (contracting sentence! EDWIN! you not not making sense!)

it's 8am now and everyone is asleep. Wish the house would be this quiet everyday. Small things also need to argue.. sheesh! :P Oh well. Cherish what I have ba..

one thing that I don't have now is money. :'( I running out of cash le. :( Have to start working again. Online blog shop anyone? Studying on that now.

I realized that I had that dream for so long but it never ends. :O what happens after I fall into the ocean?? That feeling.. so real and so powerful. What happened before I also not sure. :P

Self encouragement: Edwin! Remember how far you have come up to now because of Him. Don't let everyone's effort go to waste!!

I can still remember what she said to me during my primary school day.. that conversation that changed my life...

Me: Why must God do this to me?! If he really exist then why torture me and not the people who harmed me!?

Her: Maybe God wants to pour out blessing into your life but he wants to see if you are capable or not. He is giving you a test.

Me: It painful to live each day with the thought of suicide..

Her: Edwin! *Taps on my shoulder and looked at me in the eyes* Everyone has potential, God has given everyone a ability. If you die, wouldn't it be a waste to lose your ability? You may not know your ability until you try. Don't worry what happens, God always love you.

I can't believe I broke down after that conversation.. but that conversation kept me up and given me hope till today. I know it sounds like a fairytale and even up till today, I still think it's a miracle. :O but I believe it's real. Fairytale endings do exist. Just need to look hard enough to see that.
I wanna love everyone like how she loved me and given me encouragement. Thank You for showing me my abilities. :')

Oh my.. so emotional again.. haha.. oh well, blog later.

Mobile Blogging from here.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]