28th April 2011

Why is it that my eyes are seeing what I am seeing... So much friction..
feeling totally down that everyone start going against me... I totally lost hope....

I am lucky I didn't open up people like you.. you guys only cared not because of genuine care but because it is a obligation to care.... Never once have you guys considered that huh?

i always thought I am something special. It never cross my mind that I was useless in people's eyes... put down by people like you.. not going to join you all anymore...

my heart hurts but I refuse to be weak... I won't shed tears.. only blood. My life is never happy...

Maybe on my birthday, I will just break
all the rules and just say out the true facts.. until then, too bad. ;)

overall day: Great until friction started to show......
overall mood: depressed/irritated/emotional/unhappy/angry/

I wanna shout out my anger or at the very least, cry to someone but I don't know who...... confirm won't be my parents. Confirm won't be my family... so messed up..

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

27 April 2011

my personal goals in my life:
[ ] Succeed in my life. ( leaving behind a legacy that will impact people)
[ ] Be a eternal follower of Christ. (I know I won't be the best but I will give my best
[ ] Bringing salvation to all my friends. ( I am shot down by people's words... I won't rely on people anymore.. Independent stand)
[ ] Have a soulmate with me when I reach 25 ( before that age, I am sorry but relationship ain't my first in priority)

well that my personal goals. :)
so happy/sad/angry/moody.....
I don't understand people anymore... Why must people like you put me down?!?! At least apologize..

waste time.. oh well.. :) I am happy after spending time with Him. haha! :D

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

27 April 2011 ( fragment)

just woke up after having a terrible nightmare.. the past flashbacks are so scary. :'(
4am...
who am I to think that I can live a positive life? I lost my true me... only You saved me. :')
I will be faithful till the end...
Who can I trust? Who are my real friends?? I have caused a lot friction because of my actions. I am so sorry...

better not think too much again.....
EDWIN!! stop thinking too much!!! you are someone special! :D

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

26th April 2011

had F&N practical today and for the first time, I didn't mess up the presentation! yes! You are good! so blessed to have You answering to my call. :D

sadly though, didn't really do well for my cooking... my food test terrible and wasn't even cooked properly.. sad. :(

Oh well, can't really hope for the best.. I am just happy that I managed to get past today! :D Chinese oral!! oh my!! haha!

oh well, gonna sleep now... gotta start waking up at 3 to study! :)

overall day: long and tiring! keep feeling so tired all the time. :<

overall mood: emotional and very downed... gotta start pulling myself up

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

25th April 2011

As stupid as I sound, I realized that there is one person who I can really trust in my life and that is God alone.. that great sensation of peace... :)

I love myself for making such a decision. :D haha!
LOL! have been getting into so emotional this few days that I totally ignore about my current life.. :) must be connected to my life.. trust people more but trust God 100%. :D

been studying so hard yet I feel like I am slacking.. should start studying now. :) 6 pm to 9 pm then play PSP till 10pm! wohoo! love my life... :)

I know I have not been posting much on my evaluation so gonna make if a habit to write it. :D

overall day: tired and beat up but feeling so energized after P&W! :)

overall mood: moody and totally down but somehow feeling so happy after spend time with God! :D

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

22nd April 2011

it's good to know that someone you can talk to in your life.
I really shouldn't show my soft spot huh? I am really afraid of being betrayed by people. :'(

Gotta put up a strong image. No problem.
This is my life, my Walk, my Faith.
thanks everyone for the encouragement. :)

Gonna serve like a experienced security but have the same feeling of serving it for the first time. :D

My talent is elsewhere. maybe not in evangelism but perhaps in serving. :|

gonna flow with the Holy Spirit. :D

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

20th April 2011

feeling so hurt by lashes..
Confused
Insecure
Discouraged
I wanna be more like You.
being the salt and being someone who will shine Your light other people..
I don't wanna backslide because of 1 incident but I feel hurt.. maybe she was unwise.. not going to take this with me anymore.
I wanna be myself starting from tomorrow. :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]