Service last Saturday with Pastor Sy Rogers is impacting and powerful.. I can't believe that I learn so much just by listening to him preach.
Oh well, Let's not get too spiritual talking about church.. I wanna share something that is really burning me right now. I hope I don't get too emo or sad again...
Well, 1 of the reason why I am feeling so sad now is not because I lost my friends in school, but because of the fact I had to face bullies in schools. It's quite ironic huh? I am so big sized and strong yet to be bullied by people.. Haha.. Ironic it is.. Well, I would want to write out their names here but not gonna spell it out. Just their initials.
(TBC and GYT)
(TBC)
I had enough of them trying to bully me... I don't like it when he try to punch me and be a total jerk to me for no apparent reason....
Always inflicting wounds on me ( both physical and emotional) just because I care... What's wrong with being a top student?
I can still remember national day which is recently. I am just trying to have fun only and I didn't notice that I was blocking your way. Instead of saying excuse me like you would to other people, you land a blow on my back which was still injured and ask me to "F**** off!"
When you actually did that, I was smiling but deep within my heart, I was getting ready to fight back. I clench my fist so tightly and charged up my strength waiting for a striking range.. I waited for the correct timing trying to hit your vital points but strangely, I couldn't perform it...
I let lose my fist knowing that I shouldn't do it...
I know that I won't let my other self take over me... I just felt that I shouldn't do it.. I know that I shouldn't blame you for treating me like this..
(GYT)
I don't have any idea how I offended you, I am just talking to people when all of a sudden you just ask me to "shut the F**** up" foe no reason. I am sharing my life with someone and all you say is that...
I also noticed a long time ago that you had been avoiding me.
Look here, I sincerely apologize if there is any problems with me. I know I am not perfect but I don't think I need such a treatment..
I know that I am arrogant but I am trying to change.. How long do you have to do this to me?
I don't know what to do know... Who can I really approach? I don't really know.. Sad. :(
Am I really that hated by people this much? am I really that obnoxious?
Showing posts with label Bitterness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bitterness. Show all posts
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, September 11, 2010
11 Sept 2010
I am gonna express my feelings using some poem instead of writing it out here.
Hope people would understand.
It feel great to know you at first
However, I now regret even knowing you
I only want to be friends with you
Is that asking too much?
I feel that I had given you too many chances
I am just trying to be friends
For your information, I am not a weakling
I have now come to a conclusion though,
You have changed. Can't say if that is good or bad though but you have changed.
I don't believe in your lies anymore.
I don't feel happy nor sorrow.
Good luck to you
I won't be there for you anymore if you fall
I had given my best only to realize that you weren't even trying
Even if you come back, I won't forget the past mistakes.
I wanna believe that you are a good person but I know that is not true anymore.
I refuse to give in anymore.
Good bye.
Well~ That is all I guess.
Hope people would understand.
It feel great to know you at first
However, I now regret even knowing you
I only want to be friends with you
Is that asking too much?
I feel that I had given you too many chances
I am just trying to be friends
For your information, I am not a weakling
I have now come to a conclusion though,
You have changed. Can't say if that is good or bad though but you have changed.
I don't believe in your lies anymore.
I don't feel happy nor sorrow.
Good luck to you
I won't be there for you anymore if you fall
I had given my best only to realize that you weren't even trying
Even if you come back, I won't forget the past mistakes.
I wanna believe that you are a good person but I know that is not true anymore.
I refuse to give in anymore.
Good bye.
Well~ That is all I guess.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
29th Aug 2010
I don't want to cry anymore.
I don't want to fall into the same trap twice.
If you don't want to forgive me, I don't care.
It won't do me and you any good.
I know I should not be doing all this. Haha! I will just smile and watch as both of us destroy this friendship.
We used to talk and enjoy each other's company but now we barely maintain eye contact.
I will wait.
I made my move but it is you who rejected me.
I won't make another move until you do something about it.
I don't feel guilty just for your information.
I don't want to fall into the same trap twice.
If you don't want to forgive me, I don't care.
It won't do me and you any good.
I know I should not be doing all this. Haha! I will just smile and watch as both of us destroy this friendship.
We used to talk and enjoy each other's company but now we barely maintain eye contact.
I will wait.
I made my move but it is you who rejected me.
I won't make another move until you do something about it.
I don't feel guilty just for your information.
Monday, August 23, 2010
23rd August 2010
Note: The following post will be disturbing and maybe very insulting especially to the person I am referring to. I would strongly suggest that you would read this post at your own risk.If you get offended, I can't do anything about this. You have been warned!
I Totally hate the feeling of being ignored. As usual, I notice that she does not acknowledge me anymore as if she has lost all respect for me.
I just want to say that I used to like you but now, I just want to be friends. I don't wish to create enemies in secondary school. I don't want a relationship until 21!
I now what I say now may sound very hurtful and possibly insulting but I really don't understand you anymore.
You literally shut me off. I don't mind the fact that you hate me but I mind about the fact that you refuse to share your problems or thoughts. And yet you expect me to tell you everything..... Kinda pathetic if I have to comment.
Frankly speaking, I don't know what to do now.
The last time she ignored me, I feel devastated by her actions. but now, I feel kinda happy that you ignored me. =D I felt devastated last time because I was partly at fault and I didn't know about it. I felt almost as if I had committed a crime or sin.
But now, I feel kinda happy as I believe I am not at fault. I don't feel guilty at all. I apologized to you and if you don't accept it, fine with me. =D
I know why you are angry, partly because I said that it was shocking that your parent highest education is a pre-U. It was meant to be a compliment not an insult! apology if I said something wrong but I am not perfect. =|
I used to be short tempered and I would flare up for such small lewd remarks but I am changing now. I am now able to control my temper most of the time.
I pray that you would also change.
It is only 16 more days till N level. I won't waste my time to fix something that is not worth doing at all.
I know I sound very bad right now but I am not perfect! nobody is! Don't expect a change that easy cause I used to be a rebel and now you want me to become a cultured person. It is not as easy as prescribing a medicine to a sick person!
It is more complicated than that!
Anyways, All I can do now is pray that you would forgive me and move on with life instead of wasting your time and energy on this pathetic argument.
If you don't want to be friends anymore, then suit yourself. I have nothing to lose and nothing to gain from this experience. All I will lose will be a friend.
My feelings: Totally upset but I won't show it to anyone.
My day: Great day! =D
I Totally hate the feeling of being ignored. As usual, I notice that she does not acknowledge me anymore as if she has lost all respect for me.
I just want to say that I used to like you but now, I just want to be friends. I don't wish to create enemies in secondary school. I don't want a relationship until 21!
I now what I say now may sound very hurtful and possibly insulting but I really don't understand you anymore.
You literally shut me off. I don't mind the fact that you hate me but I mind about the fact that you refuse to share your problems or thoughts. And yet you expect me to tell you everything..... Kinda pathetic if I have to comment.
Frankly speaking, I don't know what to do now.
The last time she ignored me, I feel devastated by her actions. but now, I feel kinda happy that you ignored me. =D I felt devastated last time because I was partly at fault and I didn't know about it. I felt almost as if I had committed a crime or sin.
But now, I feel kinda happy as I believe I am not at fault. I don't feel guilty at all. I apologized to you and if you don't accept it, fine with me. =D
I know why you are angry, partly because I said that it was shocking that your parent highest education is a pre-U. It was meant to be a compliment not an insult! apology if I said something wrong but I am not perfect. =|
I used to be short tempered and I would flare up for such small lewd remarks but I am changing now. I am now able to control my temper most of the time.
I pray that you would also change.
It is only 16 more days till N level. I won't waste my time to fix something that is not worth doing at all.
I know I sound very bad right now but I am not perfect! nobody is! Don't expect a change that easy cause I used to be a rebel and now you want me to become a cultured person. It is not as easy as prescribing a medicine to a sick person!
It is more complicated than that!
Anyways, All I can do now is pray that you would forgive me and move on with life instead of wasting your time and energy on this pathetic argument.
If you don't want to be friends anymore, then suit yourself. I have nothing to lose and nothing to gain from this experience. All I will lose will be a friend.
My feelings: Totally upset but I won't show it to anyone.
My day: Great day! =D
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